Two Different Things
by Magnus The Wolf
Summary: Shalimar loves Emma...what she feels and what she says are two different things and hopes to combine them...slash...dedicated to someone special...
1. Complications of the Mind and Heart

_Relation to other stories: Stand alone_

_Disclaimer: Characters aren't owned by me, just appearing in my story featuring the characters of Mutant X._

**_IMPORTANT AUTHOR'S NOTE: THINGS IN ITALICS ARE SHALIMAR'S THOUGHTS._**

**Two Different Things**

By LT Magnus

Shalimar stood from her chair and quietly excused herself from the training room where she'd been watching Jesse and Brennan practice their moves. She headed down the hall not really sure of what was pulling her away. She walked past Emma's room and paused to look in her slightly opened door. She peered through the crack of the door and slowly nudged it open only an inch or so more. She noticed Emma was standing in front of her mirror in just her bra holding up different shirts in front of herself.

Shalimar found herself unable to keep her gaze off the breath taking psionic. She starred at her friend with lustful eyes and hoped she didn't detect her presence. The more Shalimar watched the beauty the more she wanted her. She fought the uncontrollable urge inside her to bust through the door and wrap her arms tightly around the psionic. She wanted to see that bra thrown to the floor by her own desire filled hands. The only thing she wanted to see Emma wearing was her. Shalimar knew she was the only thing that would look good on the psionic.

She often wondered if she was the one destined to be by her side. She couldn't bring herself to mention it to her friend as they'd never really discussed a love that deep before. She wanted to tell her so many times before. Every time she spoke to the psionic she wanted to tell her of how deeply she loved her and no one else. How she had stolen her heart since the first day they'd met. How ever since their first touch she'd never wanted to feel anyone else's. How she knew in her heart no one could ever mean anywhere as much to her as Emma did.

When she spoke to the psionic she felt with her heart and spoke with her head. She never fully confessed everything she was feeling. She never told Emma the whole truth. She was always holding back a part of her. Some of her heart always remained in the shadows and unseen by her secret love. Everyday she hoped she'd feel safe enough to shine some light on the hidden parts of herself. She hoped she'd be ready to let her soul bare itself to the psionic. She wondered if maybe Emma would confess the battle of expressions between her own heart and mind if she did.

Shalimar watched as Emma removed another top from her dresser and held it to her chest. She recognized it as the one she'd given the psionic only a week ago. She smiled as Emma held it close against her and ran her hand over her chest so slightly. Shalimar wished more than anything she could take the place of that blouse in Emma's hands and be caressed and held close to her body. She wanted Emma to smile at running her hand over her body. She desperately desired to be the only thing Emma wanted close to her. She looked on as Emma slipped the top over her perfect form and smiled as she looked at herself in the mirror. She wondered if Emma admired herself as much as she did.

Shalimar didn't realize she was leaning forward more as she nudged the door open farther to catch the attention of the psionic. Shalimar quickly pretended to be stopping by for a quick visit and knocked on Emma's door as she turned around at the unexpected intrusion.

"Hey, Shal," Emma greeted her with a sweet smile. "Come on in."

Shalimar smiled and led herself into the bedroom hoping she might be able to tell the psionic all the things that ran through her heart and mind every time she saw or spoke to her.

"How are you?" Emma asked as she began to put the other clothes away.

"Fine, you?"

_I'm great after seeing you look so beautiful as always._

"I'm good." Emma smiled and gestured to the bed. "Why don't you sit down and hang out for a while?"

"I'd love to."

_There's nothing I'd rather do and nowhere I'd rather be than here with you. _

Shalimar smiled and made her way across the floor to sit on Emma's bed.

"So what are you doin'?"

_Does your whole world suddenly become brighter every time I walk into the room the way it does for me whenever I see your beautiful face? _

"Just picking out an outfit."

"Cool."

_Why wear anything at all? Nothing compares to your amazing, unmatched natural beauty._

"I decided on this one you gave me. I love it." Emma smiled in the mirror at Shalimar behind her.

"I'm glad."

_I wish you felt the same way about me._

"I was gonna wear this one," Emma said as she held up another top that was thrown across her chair beside the dresser. "Brennan gave it to me, but I think yours is much better." Emma smiled sweetly at the feral.

_What a hideous top. It's nowhere near good enough to be worn on such a magnificent and perfect body such as yours._

"Me too," Shalimar agreed. Emma set the top in her dresser and continued folding the rest of her shirts to place them back inside the drawer.

"You always know what I like."

"It's a gift," Shalimar shrugged with a soft smile.

_You're a gift. You're a perfect gift from God. I wish everyday I was lucky enough to call you my own. I'd shower you with gifts and love like no one else ever had before._

"I'm gonna go get some work done on the computer," Emma said as she placed the last shirt in the drawer. "You wanna come?"

_More than you know. I'd go anywhere with you and do anything for you. You make everything so special and memorable. _

"I'll join ya a little later. There's something I need to get from my room," Shalimar said as she stood from the bed.

"Ok, well, see ya." Emma smiled and embraced Shalimar in a long and loving hug.

_Don't ever go. I need your sweet touch more than words can say._

"See ya later."

_I love you more than you could ever imagine._

They broke their embrace and each headed for the door. They turned to smile at each other once more before heading off in opposite directions down the hall. Shalimar felt her heart breaking after being separated from the psionic. She hated the tidal wave of emotions brewing inside her that she seemed to have absolutely no control over. Emma always stirred things up inside the feral well beyond her control. Shalimar let out a long, deep sigh as she headed down the hall to her room wondering why her heart and her head always felt to say two different things.


	2. Hot and Sweaty

Shalimar headed down the hall hating herself for just lying to the psionic but she couldn't very well have confessed her true feelings. Could she? Every time she opened her mouth she felt her heart beginning to cloak her true desires towards her secret love. She hated the way she always did that. She wanted to just let loose everything she felt. Everything she'd always felt since the first time they'd met. She assumed Emma knew based on their flirting but always wondered why the psionic had never made a move. Her doubt about that fact was the only thing that kept the ferals' true feelings at bay waiting to be released one day when the psionic might reciprocate.

Shalimar entered her room in a dragged out sigh and plopped herself down on the bed. She reached up to flip her curly, blonde hair from her face as she tried to relax after having all her inner desires and needs stirred up by the sexy psionic. She slowly drew in a few calm breaths and reached to her nightstand to take a sip of water. She hated and loved the things Emma did to her. She loved the way she made her feel and hated how she felt she couldn't tell her. She loved being close to her and enjoyed the sensations of pure love she felt for her. Every time they'd part, Shalimar felt like she was coming down from some wonderful high and hated the terrible withdrawals that ached inside her heart and soul when separated from her sweet, beautiful, admirable psionic. She hated how lonely she felt every time she returned to her room, alone, longing for the only person that could fill her soul with enough love to light her nights sky. She wanted Emma beside her every time she fell down to that bed. She'd turn herself over many times during the night dying to see her soft, beautiful face on the pillow next to her. Every realization that she was alone just made the pain that much more apparent. It was unbearable.

Shalimar weighed her choices. Would it hurt her more to never know if Emma could love her or to tell her and be rejected? The more she thought about Emma the more she seemed to be wrestling with the different options. She hated the way she always went in circles when it came to that decision. How she always felt herself being pulled in two different directions before finally being tied in a knot that allowed for no movement at all. She had to find a way to stay focused so she might be able to speak her mind for once. It occurred to her she'd never been shy and always spoke her mind with everyone except Emma. Emma had the most power over her, more than anyone, and she didn't even know it. Did she trust Emma enough to give her that power? She could barely contain it within herself and decided if Emma would have it, she was sure the psionic would be careful.

As Shalimar lay on her bed she soon felt the heavy toll on her heart at being away from her love. She stood to her feet and headed out of the room once more to make her way to the lab. As she headed down the hall she sniffed in the scented air that led her to the beautiful psionic sitting in her chair in front of the computer. Shalimar smiled and brought herself over to stand behind the woman who possessed every bit of her deepest love.

"What's up?" Shalimar asked as she placed her hand on the table to lean beside Emma.

_I felt my heart being terribly pulled apart in your absence. _

"Just finishing up this field report on the mutant we seized yesterday," Emma informed her as she turned her face up to smile innocently at Shalimar.

Shalimar felt her heart sink full of desire at the sight of the psionic's baby blues starring directly into her own lustful golden browns.

"So what's up?" Emma asked as she turned back to the screen to resume typing.

_I couldn't bare to be away from you any longer. _

"I missed you," Shalimar said with a smile as she observed the psionic closely.

"Thank you," Emma said as she turned to meet Shalimar's eyes again briefly. "It's nice to see you too."

Shalimar watched as Emmas' soft fingers typed away at the keyboard. She noticed a blush on the psionics' already beautifully colored cheeks and felt a satisfaction at thinking she'd put it there. Shalimar kept her lustful gaze on the psionic as she worked. She loved the way her moth would twitch as she thought and how her tongue would leave her lips every so often and slip between them ever so slightly to remoisten them. She fought every urge inside her to grab her and pull her into a passionate kiss. She watched the psionics' eyes closely. She loved the way she'd squint them slightly every so often and the sight of it only turned her on more. When she was on a roll she'd pull her lips back into the crevice of her mouth which turned Shalimar on more than anything. The looks she'd get in her eyes and the way she could make everything look so unbelievably sexy drove Shalimar crazy.

"Emma, I wanna ask you something," Shalimar finally said as she regained control over her fiery loins and pulsing heart.

"Anything, Shal," Emma answered without breaking her gaze with her work.

I was wondering if um," Shalimar paused as she suddenly felt uneasy and at a small loss for words, "if you'd like to ya know…have some help?"

_Damn it, Shalimar! You were doing so good, getting better at saying what was on your mind. This was a total step backwards in the completely opposite direction. Great going. _

Shalimar tried to push her sarcastic doubts out of her mind as she awaited Emma's answer.

"Actually, I'm almost done," she informed the feral. "But thanks for asking."

Emma paused as her psionic abilities told her something was a little off.

"Is that really what you wanted to ask me?"

_Oh my god, now you've done it. She knows and she's probably uncomfortable and it's all because you were nervous!_

"Actually, I was gonna ask you to come get all sweaty with me."

_Hopefully in more than one way._

"What?" Emma asked, somewhat surprised by the blunt question and tone in her voice as she turned to look Shalimar in the eyes.

"You know, come train with me, but I didn't wanna interrupt your work."

"Oh, well, I'm almost done. I'd love to."

_And there's nothing I'd love more. Well, almost nothing. _

"I'd love that too," Shalimar said as she smiled softly at Emma as she noticed she'd sped up her typing.

_Is she as anxious to spend time with me as I am with her? It seems like every minute I'm away from her my goal is to see her again. And every time I'm with her my goal is to stay there as long as possible. _

"That's about it," Emma said as she stood from the chair and sighed. She turned to Shalimar next to her and the feral smiled as her hair flipped at the movement of her head turning. "Let's go get sweaty." Emma grinned as she led the way out of the room as the two headed out to the dojo.

_You don't have to ask me twice._


	3. Good Together

Shalimar tried but failed to keep her eyes off Emma's unbelievably sexy curves as she followed her anxiously into the dojo. She knew damn well the psionic could ask her to join her in anything and she wouldn't be able to agree fast enough. She imagined wrapping her arms around those sweet, sexy hips and pulling the psionic into her arms to cradle her against her own warm, awaiting body as she walked behind her.

"So," Shalimar began as she stepped up to the training platform, "simulation or versus each other?"

"Each other," Emma said with a sexy half smile as she stepped across from the feral.

_I like the way you think._

"Alright," Shalimar said as she moved herself into place. She hoped the psionic didn't notice how desperately eager she was just to touch her. "Show me whatcha got."

_I've dreamed you would so many times before until it drove me crazy._

"No powers," Emma playfully reminded as she raised her eyebrows over to the smitten feral. "Just you and me."

_It always sounded perfect to me._

"Don't worry. I'll be gentle," the feral replied almost seductively in a low voice.

"I don't need you to be gentle," Emma grinned with a smile over to her awaiting opponent.

_God, you turn me on so much._

"Yeah, we'll see about that," Shalimar replied as she quickly turned herself around and forward to attempt a backhanded swipe at the psionics' neck. She was surprised when the woman was quick enough to block her arm with her own and offered a low attack on Shalimar's midsection.

Shalimar drew in a deep breath of the sweet scented air that surrounded her as she continued her routine of blocking and attacking the psionic. She loved the feel of Emma's soft skin coming into contact with her own as they sparing and every touch only coiled the spring of desire in her stomach further until she felt like she was going to explode.

Shalimar eyed her opponent like a cat out for a midnight meal as she felt she was closing in on her. She'd always been a skilled fighter and knew Emma couldn't possibly get the best of her in hand to hand combat. As she watched the psionic she picked up the pattern of her moves, which only turned her on more, and finally let herself get a soft blow in to her side. Shalimar held her position as the psionic parted her lips to allow for a sexy almost growl like sound to escape at her defeat.

"Shal, you're not holding back on me are ya?"

_Only until you're ready for the truth._

"No, why would you say that?" Shalimar asked as she stepped back and allowed her breathing to return to normal. She hoped the psionic couldn't tell the sparing wasn't the other thing that had made her heartbeat race.

"Shalimar, I know you're holding back on me." Emma raised her eyebrows like a disapproving parent over to the feral.

"Are you calling me a liar?" Shalimar playfully asked as she let her mouth open in shock at the accusation.

"Well, if the shoe fits the mutant," Emma teased with a sexy grin as she leaned towards Shalimar slightly.

_I love it when she flirts with me like this. _

Shalimar felt her recently steadied heartbeat starting to increase once again at the sound of Emma's words.

"Wanna go again, I promise I won't hold back?"

"I promise I won't hold back," Emma said with a smile.

_I wish you wouldn't._

Shalimar chucked at the psionics' words and prepared herself for another match. Before she was even ready she found herself deflecting Emma's attacks as she attempted a series of low punches at her opponent. Emma blocked Shalimar's attacks on her sides and lunged a swift kick at the feral who only produced a back flip to dodge out of its way. As soon as her feet hit the ground she was throwing blows back at the psionic who had to use all her focusing abilities to block them quickly enough.

As Shalimar dodged another incoming chop from Emma's hand she turned to scale the wall beside them to allow herself to flip over the psionic and grab her tightly from behind in a strong hold.

"That wasn't fair," Emma giggled as she protested and wiggled in the ferals' clutches. She turned her head around to catch eyes with Shalimar who grinned in satisfaction at her.

"Because you lost?"

"Because you used your little feral abilities," Emma answered.

_I love the way you flirt, it's so incredibly sexy. I never wanna let you go. _

"Nah, that's just how I spare. I can't help it."

"Oh, right," Emma protested in sarcasm still offering no discomfort at being held in the ferals' arms.

"What? You want me to fight like a human, but I'm not one. Don't be so sore over losing."

"I'm not sore. Well, maybe my arms are a little now."

"Oh, sorry," Shalimar said as she released her grip on the psionic.

Emma stepped lightly from Shalimar's hold but didn't take another step away from her. She turned around so she could look her friend in the eyes.

"It's ok, I think I'm gonna go change. I don't wanna ruin the top you just gave me. Besides, after that I look terrible."

"Nah, you look beautiful."

_As always. _

"Thanks," Emma smiled in admiration at the feral.

"You always do."

"You always know what to say," Emma said as she leaned in to tightly hug Shalimar. Shalimar pulled her in close loving the feel of her body against her. She let herself get lost in the psionics arms and couldn't tell how long they'd been holding each other when Emma pulled back slowly to look her in the eyes, still keeping her arms intertwined with the ferals'.

"Why did you hold back?" Emma asked softly as she starred into the ferals' revealing, brown eyes.

Shalimar had to stop and allow herself a second to breath and think as being so close to the psionic was making every little function that much harder for her to do.

"What do you mean? I won."

"I know you held back, Shal"

Shalimar tried to play coy at the psionics' questions.

_I could never attack you with full force. I'd rather die than risk any harm to you._

"What?" Shalimar asked as she starred at Emma's unshifting gaze.

"Shal, psionic, remember?"

Shalimar let out a small laugh and allowed her eyes to revel the fact she was holding back. Emma didn't even need her abilities to know that from the feral. She could always tell when she wasn't being honest or living up to her potential.

"So?" Emma inquired further.

"So, what?"

"Tell me why you held back," Emma pleaded to try to crack the feral.

Shalimar stayed silent and tried to keep her face from revealing any more hints to the psionic.

"Is it because you love me?"

Shalimar paused as she realized what Emma meant by the tone in her voice. It occurred to her immediately Emma was accusing her of loving her more than a friend. Shalimar didn't know how to answer and had to build up all her strength once again to find a way to answer the psionic in her arms.

"I…um…"

Shalimar couldn't believe she'd been put on the spot like that. She'd told Emma she loved her before, so what was the problem? The problem was this time if she said it, it was like handing Emma a knife to stab her in the heart if she wanted to. It was telling her exactly how much she loved her.

_Say something! Don't just stand here like an idiot she wants an answer. Say anything! Think of something fast we're dying here!_

"Shalimar, do you love me?"

"Um...I…why are you asking me this?" Shalimar was finally able to spit out.

"My question first, Shal."

"What do you want me to say, Emma?"

"The truth. I want the truth."

"The truth is…I…"

_Oh my god, what do I do? Can I tell her? Should I tell her? Will she be grateful or is she just curious? How will this affect us? Will she still be my friend? What if she runs away from me and feels awkward? I guess I need to know. _

Shalimar drew in a deep breath as she felt a burst of energy and reassurance come over her.

"I love you."

_God, how I love you. _

Shalimar paused as she felt a slight panic starting to brew inside her but it soon began to fade as she noticed the sweet smile that spread across the psionics' face.

"I was wondering how long it'd take you to say that."

"What?" Shalimar asked not being able to believe her own ears.

"I've wanted to hear you say it for so long," Emma said in a sweet voice that sent all Shalimar's fears back inside their dark places. "I love you too."

"I've always loved you, Emma; it's not a recent thing. I've been in love with you since the first time we met."

"I've loved you for a while too."

"Aren't we a bunch of idiots keeping out feelings to ourselves," Shalimar said as she laughed at their now apparent foolishness.

"Idiots in love," Emma said as she leaned her head in to kiss the feral with all her heart.

Shalimar felt her head going numb and her heart skipping beat after beat at kissing the woman of her dreams. She couldn't believe it was even happening and pulled their bodies even closer so there wasn't an inch left between them. She sucked in the sweet breath of the psionic and relished it as long as she could until Emma finally sucked it back out of her once again to reclaim it as her own. Their tongues slammed against once another fiercely in the way their bodies ached to do. Shalimar let out a grateful growl of pleasure as their kiss finally came to an end.

_Wow._

Her brown eyes narrowed and glazed with desire as she starred into the soulful eyes of the smiling psionic.

"You're so beautiful," Shalimar murmured as she ran fingers gently along the psionics' neck caressing her soft, irresistible skin with slow strokes.

Emma smiled as she starred deeply into the velvet, brown eyes of the feral.

"Come on," she said softly through her seductive grin as she took the ferals' hand to lead her down the steps. "Let's go to my room."

_You really don't have to ask me twice on that._

Emma held Shalimar's' hand tightly as she led them slowly through Sanctuary to her room. Shalimar could barely find the strength left in her knees to follow the psionic and felt overcome with relief as they finally stepped through her door. Emma turned to lock the door behind them and quickly turned to embrace Shalimar's lips once more with her own. Shalimar felt herself spinning out of control at the feel of the soft lips like Angel wings upon her own.

When they finally broke apart to gasp for breath they found themselves frantically searching each others' bodies with their hands. Shalimar let her head sink lower to suck the psioncs' breast through her flimsy top. Emma arched herself closer to the feral as if to beg for more as she clenched her head with her hand. Emma's fingers stroking the back of her neck only turned Shalimar into more of an animal. Shalimar kissed her way across Emma's cleavage and up to her collarbone. She felt Emma's skin dampen and fill with tiny goose bumps under her touch. She reached around Emma's back to pull her shirt over her head and with one quick motion she unhooked her bra and smiled as the psionic let it slid from her hands to pool on the floor between them.

Shalimar pulled herself slightly back so she might take in the magnificent sight bestowed before her. Her eyes widened as she looked at the beautiful, breathtaking woman. She'd never in her life seen such beautiful breasts, but then again, she'd never seen such a beautiful woman before either. Shalimar turned her gaze to the short, blue skirt Emma was wearing which was just short enough to taunt her further. She reached out as she took a step closer to run her hands along the length of the psionics' soft thighs. She stroked her slowly then faster and paused as she reached her hips to pull the psionic in closer to her still.

Shalimar let her tongue roam over Emma's newly exposed torso. She gently teased her naval as she licked her way around it and back up to her bare breasts once more. She felt the psionic shudder as she sucked and teased her with her hungry tongue. Shalimar trailed her mouth upwards once more as it looked to meet with the psionics' again. She paused as she kissed her way up the softness of her neck. Emma felt her knees getting weaker by the minute as Shalimar's breath blew hot on her skin. She let her hands roam under the ferals' top in hopes she might remove it and join her in her nudity.

Shalimar pulled her mouth from the psionics' sweet neck and teased them both as she lingered her mouth ever so slightly on Emma's as their lips merely brushed against one anothers. Shalimar backed up slightly enough to remove her top and let it join in union with Emma's on the floor. Emma's wishes were answered as the feral removed her bra to reveal her perfect breasts beneath. Emma reached out to tug at the ferals' jeans that still remained in her way. Shalimar grinned at Emma's eagerness and quickly shucked her pants and threw them carelessly to the floor. Emma's heart sped up at the sight of the nearly naked feral standing before her. She couldn't help but imagine her underwear removed and the feel of her hot skin colliding with her own.

Shalimar returned once more to embrace the psionics' body and mouth with hers. Emma's eager hands roamed over all corners of Shalimar's anxious body as their pulses raced together. Shalimar felt herself getting lightheaded as she breathed in the smell of the sweat leaking from the psionics' pores and mixing with that of her own to provide and intoxicating aroma. Emma's fingers tugged at the strand on the back of the ferals' undies and, understanding her message, Shalimar wiggled herself out of them and kicked them aside.

A now fully naked Shalimar somehow found the strength to remove her mouth from Emma's and trail her lips down the length of her body again. She paused as she reached the skirt the psionic still wore. Shalimar used her teeth to unzip the clothing and drag the garment to the floor with the help of Emma slowly shifting her hips in assistance in a rhythm that only turned the feral on even more.

_The one time you wear underwear._

Shalimar thought as she brought her teeth back up to the woman's belly to remove the blue, lacey garment protecting her more precious areas. As Emma stepped from the garment Shalimar breathed in deeply the beautiful scent of her new found love. She couldn't return to her arms fast enough as their mouths met in a kiss that would suggest they'd been lovers their whole lives. Hands and mouths roamed and as their flames of passion threatened to consume them they found themselves tumbling down to the bed below with no objections.

Hours later Shalimar lay wrapped up in the arms of her lover. As the two cuddled in each others arms floating on their afterglow, Shalimar shifted to look down at the psionic.

"We should train more often," she said with a smile as she bent her head to kiss her lover.

"We could've been training all this time. If I'd known the lessons would be that good I've have asked you much sooner." Emma smiled back at her as she stroked her blonde hair. Shalimar shifted under the sheets to lie atop her lover. Emma wrapped her legs around Shalimar's waist to pull her even closer and stoke her face.

"I was just about to psyche myself up to telling you when you asked me."

"Shalimar Fox had to psyche herself into telling someone something? That's unusual."

"Well, you're my only weakness."

"Your weakness? Is that a good thing?"

"Yes," the feral responded with a soft smile to put the psionic at ease. "You're the one who can hurt me. You're the one who gets to me more than anyone else. It's a fragile thing for me. But you're also the source of my greatest strength and deepest love."

"I'm glad you told me. I've wanted to be with you for so long. I just thought you were too strong to let me in or to confess it."

"I would've told you soon enough, Em. We're meant to be together, it's inevitable, like death in Texas. You're forever mine now."

"I love you."

"I love you," the feral said as she smiled back at Emma and listened to the silence her in her head as she was finally able to speak her mind and heart to the psionic.

Shalimar smiled and leaned down to place a trail of soft kisses across the psionics' neck. She rolled over to rest her head on the psionic as her beautiful, blonde strands fell across her belly. Emma's hand came down to run itself through the hair as she pulled her lover in tighter and drifted off to sleep in her arms.

The End


End file.
